We need to liven this joint up tonight, so I'll start.
This Spring my wife and I took a 10-day cruise to the southern Caribbean. Since my wife decided to be part of something that completely embarrassed her on the ship, I decided to repay her efforts by embarrassing myself, so I joined in the...
"World's Sexiest Man" competition.
Holy hell was that interesting. The line-up was...
1. A 50-year old guy that completely takes care of himself and clearly looks at himself in the mirror all the time (The eventual winner).
2. An overweight Vancouver Canucks fan that I believe is 100% "India" Indian.
3. Someone that looks like a bar regular with a gut.
4. A 75-year old guy that had an eye patch.
5. Vang (or what I imagine Vang to be like)
6. The Indian Canucks fan's 17 year old son.
7. A feminine latino dude that clearly had practice pole-dancing.
8. Me
We each had to describe ourselves and give our best assets. My wife said I had a great ass, so of course the song they played for me was none other than Sir-Mix-Alot's "I like big butts".
I had planned a routine to be funny and it played out pretty well, but the ship's audience wasn't in to a frighteningly white boy from Minnesota.
Some of the funny songs that were played for the competition was Punjabi MC/Jay-Z's "Beware" for the India dude and Daddy Yankee's "La Gasolina" for the feminine latino douche.
Hilarious and embarrasing.
The things you'd make fun of are...
1. I had an undershirt on (with a slight tear in the collar). I took my T-shirt off I had over it and immediately ripped my undershirt off my chest like I was Hulk Hogan. I've never done that before and had always wanted to do that.
2. I stuffed my shorts with a pair of socks and proceeded to pull them out during my routine.
3. I believe I took 7th place, only beating Vang.
Whatta ya got?
This Spring my wife and I took a 10-day cruise to the southern Caribbean. Since my wife decided to be part of something that completely embarrassed her on the ship, I decided to repay her efforts by embarrassing myself, so I joined in the...
"World's Sexiest Man" competition.
Holy hell was that interesting. The line-up was...
1. A 50-year old guy that completely takes care of himself and clearly looks at himself in the mirror all the time (The eventual winner).
2. An overweight Vancouver Canucks fan that I believe is 100% "India" Indian.
3. Someone that looks like a bar regular with a gut.
4. A 75-year old guy that had an eye patch.
5. Vang (or what I imagine Vang to be like)
6. The Indian Canucks fan's 17 year old son.
7. A feminine latino dude that clearly had practice pole-dancing.
8. Me
We each had to describe ourselves and give our best assets. My wife said I had a great ass, so of course the song they played for me was none other than Sir-Mix-Alot's "I like big butts".
I had planned a routine to be funny and it played out pretty well, but the ship's audience wasn't in to a frighteningly white boy from Minnesota.
Some of the funny songs that were played for the competition was Punjabi MC/Jay-Z's "Beware" for the India dude and Daddy Yankee's "La Gasolina" for the feminine latino douche.
Hilarious and embarrasing.
The things you'd make fun of are...
1. I had an undershirt on (with a slight tear in the collar). I took my T-shirt off I had over it and immediately ripped my undershirt off my chest like I was Hulk Hogan. I've never done that before and had always wanted to do that.
2. I stuffed my shorts with a pair of socks and proceeded to pull them out during my routine.
3. I believe I took 7th place, only beating Vang.
Whatta ya got?
